I Can't Get Through My Day Without Blogging!

     Seriously! I sit around and think about talking to you all and hoping that someone commented on my status or ANYTHING.  I always welcome new followers and even people who aren't ana or mia or EDNOS or anything! Even if you're here just to figure out what I'm all about, I'm all for it.  So please. Follow me, comment, anything.  I need to motivation, and as a note..... when you comment on my status, you get the perk that you have a better chance of me commenting on YOUR blog! It's a circle of trust here, ladies and gentlemen.

     So, I'm writing a story. Yeah, random.  It's a surprise for my boyfriend, who wanted me to write about, and I quote, "A journey you take.  Make me your rival".  and this is where you all are like "Make it about ana and trying to be skinnier than him!" Nope. I made it about Candy Land. XD!! It's perfect!  We walk around and the sky changed colors and candy-people attack us (I'm making it a horror version, for Halloween, you know.).  I just hope he likes it!

     Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY JDG! Me and her are trying to work things out.  Already made plans to go Trick or treating with her tomorrow. and we're gonna both be princesses! And she might be able to go see PA3 with us.  Awesome.

     So, i'm lazy. Time for the question ;D Hope somebody answers T...T

Question: What is your dream Halloween costume? Is it thinspo? Scenespo? Something sexy?

My answer: okay, so my answer is kind of stupid but... I would love to be Ramona Flowers from Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World.  My boyfriend said he wanted to dress up as them for Halloween one year, but i know I'm way too fat to pull it off.  But... It's my dream, so I'm going to work to be as small as her someday.

OH! Almost forgot ;D For being the only person to comment on my last post, I would like to send SPECIAL IMPOWERMENT AND STRENGTH AND LOVE to Skinny Ninny!! Thank you so much, girly, for loving me enough to comment <3 Stay strong, darling!

New Name Ideas / Motivated!!!

     First of all, I would like to state that I am NOT allowed to talk to Disaster until I can run for five minutes straight.  Sad that I can't do that, right? Not even running in place, I can't. But I'm going to work every single day until I can. And I am DETERMINED to be able to speak to him again.

     Okay, moving on <3 Thank you all for your AMAZING stats! I wish I was as small as you all.. I'm tall AND I'm fat. Ick.  It scares me sometimes.  So, I would like to state that my doctor made me cry after I realized how big I had gotten.

     Sorry I haven't been commenting on your blogs lately x..x I've been busy with Halloween things! I'm really sorry! Today, though, I did this Pussy Cat Dolls workout (and yes, let me tell you how ironic it was that me, Kitty, did the Pussy Cat Dolls workout. HA.)  I feel amazing though! I feel worked out and buff and thinner and everything!


     Moving on. So.  I have a few hybrid names for my blog that I thought up.  Give me your feedback.

     "Purrfect Kitty: Follow the Leader"
     "Ana Wants A Perfect Kitty"
     "Kitty Will Be Perfect Now"
     "Imperfect Body: Imperfect Kitty"
     "Meow: Kitty Will Be Purrfect Now"

     Okay.  I realize how lame they sound. Stfu.  Tell me what you think.

     So, since I'm babysitting and kind of busy, let's just get to the question of the day xD

Question: What's a good dance to learn that's also a good workout but would be fun too?

My Answer: I've always wanted to learn the "Jar Of Hearts" dance from the music video <3 It's all flowy and such. I'm referring to the dance the background girls do in the street. LOVE it.

     Oh, before I forget, I have a few scratches on the back of my hand.  I want to take a picture of them to show to you guys what it looks like.  And I dressed up as a princess for Halloween, and was amazed to discover that the dress I wore the winter of my junior year is now too big on me <33!!!

     So, wish me luck on being able to run for five minutes straight.  I want to be able to speak to Disaster again without seeming fat and disgusting and worthless to him....  Even though I'm not, kittys, stay strong, be perfect. xoxo

-Cryota

New Blog Name Ideas / Paranormal Activity 3 / Doctor's Visit

     Let's start off this, rather short, blog post by saying that I am listening to your blog name ideas :3 and listen.  Just cause you haven't been following me for long, doesn't mean you can't give me ideas for a new name!

     Here's a few random names (I'm sorry! I only have the names right now, I'm just gonna list them and such.).

Purrfect Kitty
Meow: Kitty Will Be Perfect Now
The Special Kitty
One Kitty Life

     And here's my opinion.  I like the Purrfect kitty thing x3 it's cute. Its adorable. 
     The "Meow: Kitty will be perfect now" I really wish I could make it sound more poetic.
     I don't really like "the special kitty", but I like the thing about cats having nine lives.  I think kittys should have ten.

     And yes, I know that "kitty", plural, should be spelled "kitties", but I think "kittys" is more to my.. word.  I think we are all kittys.

     Whoa. Revelation.

     EDIT: Do not send my new blog names. I have an idea. Just gonna derp around with it for a while.

     On to Paranormal Activity 3! I get to go see it tomorrow! I'm so excited.  I love PA one and two.

     Saving the best for last.  I went to the doctor today for my first Yearly.  It wasn't that bad.  Okay, moving on.

     You all know that I am overweight still.  Well, the doctor brought it up. He told me that everything down there seemed fine, but that my weight was unhealthy. ....Like I don't know that. Great. Now even my doctor judges me.  After he said to "start thinking about exercising and eating right".. Well.. I broke down on the way home.  I want to lose this damn weight.. I always feel horrible.  I hate being in public.  I hate being alone.  I've constantly been cutting lately.. and I don't consider myself a self-harmer.  But I do this thing I call "scratching".  I scratch a small line on the back on my hand, about three lines, until I break skin and I keep scratching until it bleeds.  It feels amazing.. No one suspects a thing.  Then, I found this very sharp knife in our kitchen.  I accidentally cut myself.  ..Figured I should save the knife in my room, and I have a few little scratches on my wrists now.  Nothing too much.

     Time for the question of the day, because I'm curious as to how much larger than my followers I am..

Question: How much do you weigh, currently, in pounds?

My Answer: I'm disgusting to say that I weigh 280 pounds.  Do you know what that means? It means I've gained 11 pounds in a few days.  A little over a week? I'm not sure.  I'm disgusting and fat and worthless..

Stay Strong, Kittys. xoxo

Ideas For Thinspo/How Much Disaster Means To Me

     Let me start off by saying, thank you all, girls, for all the support <3!! You guys are all amazing. Thank you so much <33 I'm doing a lot better lately just because you guys are all commenting and supporting me!

     Next, I want to send a special shout out to my best friend, Disaster.  He's always been there for me, and he constantly supports me with my pro-ana beliefs.  He even wrote the poem at the top of my blog now.  He calls me as often as he can, and he's still in high school, and we've been friends for about three years.  I love you so much, Disaster <3 thank you so much for everything you've done for me.

     Okay, back to the topic of thinspo.  I constantly look for thinspo that helps me think of that "Perfect Kitty" look.  Disaster helps me to feel beautiful, as does my boyfriend.  It's just.. mrr. If you know what it's like to have both a boyfriend and a great guy friend, then you'll understand.

     Okay, so, moving on.  Anyways, Disaster helps me to be a better person, and my new theme for thinspo to look for is "Perfect Kitty Thinspo". I'm going to make a new page on my blog, which is my exact ideal body type that I want.  I want to be skinny, have a waist, and be perfect and light.  I want so badly to be a perfect kitty someday.. and I will be..

     So, time for the question of the day. And this one isn't as "personal" are normal, but it's something that might make one of you happy <3 we'll see. oh, and Disaster isn't allowed to answer this question. XD Just for the sake of being fair.

Question: What is a good name for my site? And make sure it involves being perfect and "kitty" :3 whoever chooses the best name, in my opinion, then it will be my new site name.

My answer: I'm lame, but I'm thinking "Be A Perfect Kitty" or "Kitty Will Be Perfect" or something. I want something meaningful ^w^ Thank you, girlies! Stay strong xoxo

Wishing I Had Some More Thinspo / I Need A New Ana Buddy

     Let me begin this post by saying that I love you all so much.  I really needed the support now.  I started the points diet thingy today with TinyRose.  I'll post up the info here, now, I guess.

Intake:
+2 drinking 8 glasses of water
+5 eating only calorie limit
+10 eating under calorie limit
-1 point for every extra 100 calories you consume
-10 binge/purge

Exercise:
+1 10 minutes of stretching
+1 50 crunches, 50 squats, 100 Jumping Jacks, ext.
+2 30 min cardio
+4 1 hour of exercise (dance, yoga, ext.)

Extra Points
+1 getting 6-9 hours of sleep
+1 taking a vitamin (1 per day)

So far today, i am atttt... 21 points! Whoo! Good, roight? Haha. Okay, so, I want some other people to be out there doing this diet.  Tell me if you're interested :3 then I can post your stats on here, or I can link to your blogs too. Just let me know, girlies.

      In other words, my cell phone plan is AT&T, I have unlimited texting... and I need a new ana buddy. The first one i got has like, five, and she constantly ignores my texts or doesn't text me.  So if anyone out wants to be my ana buddy, please let me know! Dx I'll message you my number or whatever you'd like.  I don't work, and I'm not in college yet, so I'm ALWAYS available. Please message me or comment if you can x..x

     Oh, yeah, and as for the first part of my post title, I NEED NEW THINSPO! If anyone can email me a load of thinspo to save on my computer, or even just message me a few links for pictures or whatever, PLEASE help me!  Okay, not much else to say.. Sssooo..

Question: What are your favorite types of thinspo?

My Answer: I really like thinspo of thigh gaps, skinny arms and wrists, small waists, ribs and collarbones showing, and I LOVE thinspo with pale skin or long hair. LOVE IT!!!

Thank you everyone for all of the support. Stay strong lovelies <3

Couple Of Things Just To Rant About

     I fucking hate when people are jealous of you. My EX best friend, JDG, is jealous that I can control myself around food, jealous that my boyfriend loves me more than her baby daddy loved her, and is jealous that my life is easy, whereas she had a child at age 18 and is dropping out of college. Fuck her. Oh, and just to prove how pathetic she is? Okay, you know how when you post something on Facebook about someone, you kind of beat around the bush like "Some people need to be mature"? She couldn't do that. She used my name and, literally, said "Fuck Paige. Yeah, I said it." Worse? Two of my, also, ex friends, cheered her on. Thank god for my mom. She told the bitch that she shouldn't use people's names. And the bitch deleted her post! Ha. So she felt guilty later, but she still has me blocked. Whatever. I deleted her number off my phone, and I don't know it by heart, and I also deleted the other assholes that have any contact with that self-centered bitch.  And you know what? I have so much more class than her. Wanna know why? Cause that dumb bitch used my name, and even with how pissed fucking off I am, I still won't post her real name. She can't say she never did that.

     Next subject. I am very overly emotional. I understand this.  I will constantly be ranting on this blog, some about ana, some not.  But stupid me, I let people get to me. So one to the next FML.

     I have very low self esteem, as it is.  I had a dream last night that my best friend, who will be named Mica, and my sorta friend, sorta ex lover, who will be named Suffocate, both hooked up while in my house, and did it behind my back. They kept lying to me but I found proof and everything.  I woke up crying and feeling worthless and pathetic.  To make matter worse? Suffocate actually texted me this morning, which did not help.  He called me overly emotional and crazy and everything. He doesn't even fucking care, so why is he texting me? Fuck him too.

     Next off.  Another exfriend of mine, who just left me last night really, well.  He knew everything about me. Everything.  I hear voices.  I have different people living inside of me.  It's the first time I'm really admitting this to this blog, or to any mass audience.  Only two people know those things about me, but now the whole world knows. Oops, make it three people. I have a boyfriend. Haha.  So anyways, this person texts me, and i text him back. ....He doesn't answer until midnight. APPARENTLY, he was at his aunt's birthday party and found out all this meaningful stuff, like that she birthed him and such. And apparently, he's been talking garbage about her. Oh, and as a note? This guy I'm speaking of is Disaster. I think he gave up on me, so if you're looking at his blog, waiting to see how it goes, then I must warn you that I bet he gave up on it now that he hates me.  He even still called me "Kitty", which is one of my favorite nicknames ever.... I told him to never fucking call me kitty again.  He always says how much he cares about me and how he would do anything for me (oh and don't worry. He knows his boundaries. I have a boyfriend).  Then he pulls stupid shit like this. but I'll live with it.  Besides, he's done with me now. I think he gave up on me for good last night.

     This is the part where I realize how long I've been typing. Wow. It took me 40 minutes to type all that. Not because I'm a slow typer. I'm actually pretty fast.  It took that long because I'm retarded and kept crying over this stupid shit. Whatever.  I don't need assholes in my life.

     So here's my plan.  I will not text or message or talk to any of these people first.  THEY will have to contact me, which I highly doubt they will ever do.  So really, I'm left with Laeti, who lives with me, and my boyfriend, who will live with me soon.  And my empty stomach.

     My hands are cold. Haha. Sorry, random.  Okay, I want to get onto happier subjects.

     First of all, I got my mp3 player back from stupid JDG.  So I put some motivating music on it! Yay :3 So now while I walk on the treadmill, I have tunes to motivate me.  And I've been using a new acne wash (Gross right? I hate how much acne i have. Doesn't help me.) and a new toothpaste (I have naturally yellow teeth. Blech. Glad I don't purge.  It would be horrible. No offense to anyone who purges. We all have different ways to the same perfection :3  I just mean, my teeth are already horrible, I have tons of cavities. (This is great. You will not believe this.  Instead of writing "cavities", first I wrote "calories". i'm so proud.) 

     I also went trick or treating last night. Yes, i'm 18. But i like getting candy and keeping it around my room in case of a craving. I eat one piece and I feel more horribly guilty than if I binged.  So it's perfect.  I like lots of chocolate. BAD PAIGE BAD. Haha.

     Guess what! I'm done ranting and rambling xDD Have a question.

Question: Yes, I realize, we are all pro ana/mia, but I need to know... What are your favorite types of candy? And toodaayy... YOU GET A BONUS QUESTION! What are you LEAST favorite candies?

My Answers: I LOVE chocolate and gobstoppers and laffy taffys, mainly banana.  Oh oh and Reese's peanut butter cups!  I HATE licorice, stupid ass whoppers, and I really would prefer not to get sour candies.

     Not to comment-beg or whatever, but I'd really like to get some feedback.  With everyone in my life leaving, I need the support girlies.

     And thank you, everyone, for following me! I promise to be strong (fasting today) and make you all very proud! XOXO

This Is The Part Where I Realize How Much I've Been Blogging

     But I don't suppose any of you will complain.. Er. Will you? Maybe I am blogging too much. Haha. I just have a lot to say and I really need somewhere to say it.

     Proud of myself.  I was exhausted last night and I STILL worked out! I'm so happy. And I got to talk to Disaster on the phone (if you haven't yet, by the way, check out my page named after me. Disaster said something funny.).  So yeah, I really have no clue how much I weigh, so the numbers on that page might be wrong.  Just found out that my scale is broken (as proven by the fact that the scale kept twitching between 7, 125, and 300.) Drove me crazy.

     Grah. I'm feeling lazy today. But I'll still do the question of the day.

Question: What is your favorite pro-ana or ana based song?

My Answer: Courage - Superchick.  It sounds kind of like recovery, but honestly I use it to motivate myself. Lately, though, my mp3 player has been borrowed to my friend. Sucks. I have no music. DX

Holy Shit That's A Lot Of Followers!

     So yeeaahh... Just got on today, randomly, and noticed i had EIGHTEEN FOLLOWERS?! HOLY SHIT. Well, better get down to business. -Cracks knuckles..-

     First off, to reply to comments ;D

@Josie: Please! I would LOVE to have an ana buddy that's around my weight ;D I'll send you a message with my number later. Promise! And thanks for telling me your celeb thinspo :3

@Meg: Thanks to you too for commenting about celeb thinspo :3 Stay strong!

@ScarletRed: ugh I know I would KILL for Mary Kate's legs at her "worst". Haha. I would kill for legs smaller than mine, for sure. x..x

@toomanythoughts: I just really like wintergirls. It kind of got me into looking for pro-ana sites and such, so I guess it helped me get here. :3 YAY!

@TinyRose: I know! i don't even really know her, but I saw her in a magazine and I LOVE her! Haha. she's just so... awesome. And skinny x3x

@Sunshinechild: OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH SUNSHINECHILD! I really needed some advertising xD Guess i know how I got so many followers now. Haha. And I have some.. hispanic in me xD not sure EXACTLY what, but my dad was Hispanic ssoooo yeah. I have hips, for sure <w< Which kind of sucks.

     Okay, now, for updates! My grandma gave me a tape measure, so I was able to measure myself last night! I'll post up those numbers on a page about me, so please check it out :3

     Wrapping it up, thank you to all of the new followers!!! I need the support, especially at my weight, but I started some pilates exercises last night and I still feel the soreness and can't wait to do it again tonight. THANK YOU NEW FOLLOWERS! Stay Strong ~

Question: Do you know the name of a blog that has someone over 200 pounds that is pro ana?

My Answer: From what i know, Josie has a 200+ blog xD Haven't checked yet. -Dodges flames..- Please help me! I could use the motivation.

Stay strong girlies :3 and guy...lies. Grah. guyies. YES.

Wondering who the fuck the fat girl in the mirror is....

     My boyfriend has been very nosy about my ana-ness.. He isn't supportive of it and he actually wants me to stop. I can't.  I can't help but worry about my weight and the fat hanging off my body.. I'm actually going to take some pictures tonight of my body and I'll try to post them some day this week or so. And on the 27th, I have a doctor's appointment, hence a chance to go buy a tape measure! Whoo!

     oh, and I tried out the scale? 269. Bleh. Only one pound less than at the doctor's... a month ago. I feel disgusting.

     So, if anyone can help, what are some good stretches I can do? I also want to become very flexible (and for your information, yes, it is for sexual reason r////r). please help me girlies!!

"My best friend's brother is the one for me!" Lol Laeti. She's listening to Victoria Justice. I'm going to work on like.. A scrapbook or thinspo involving certain thinspo people. For me? Well.. We should get to the question of the day...

Question: What celebrities or friends are your favorite thinspo?

My answer: Avril Lavigne, Shakira, Victoria Justice, Emma Stone, Rihanna, Kelly Clarkson (skinny), Lady Gaga, Emma Watson, and my friend who shall be called Cherries.

Monday, Ideas, and Movies

     Watching Easy A. Nothing to do with Ana, but an amazing movie to me. Hilarious.  I'm drinking coffee right now, typing up on a blog. Well anyways, I need to get more money on Animal Crossing: Wild World. Haha. Anyone want be texting buddies..? I'm a graduate and I have no job, and I have unlimited texting. So please, anyone want to text me, just send a comment and such. I'd be more than happy to have any and all buddies that I can get.

     So yeah, for the "Ideas" thing.  I need to buy a tape measure.  I want to measure my body and see how I am compared to you guys.  I really have no clue.  Anyone have any idea where I can buy one at? XD sorry, I'm pathetic. Please.

     And Movies.  I want to see Paranomal Activity 3. Badly.  It comes out in what.. Five days? Holy shit. And right now, there's a little orange kitten running around my house and mewing and scratching at my shoes. Haha.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCKING ON WOOD! I'm not crazy. I'm watching Easy A. Close enough?

Time for a question.

Question: Where the hell can I buy a tape measure?

My answer: Hell if I know.

..R.e.c.e.n.t..E.v.e.n.t.s..

     So, here's my list of events for the past few days.

     On Saturday, I went to a festival, where I proceeded to eat way too much food. And drink too much pop. I felt disgusting. Purged that night.

     On Sunday, I was sick. Raging fever, nauseous, dizzy, blacking-out sick. I could barely sit up without throwing up.  It was horrible.  That's what I get for eating so much. I deserve it.

     On Monday, still a bit queezy and dizzy. Laid in bed most of the day and sobbed away my problems.  I need to get a job, but at my weight, I'm scared that no one will hire me. Who wants me to represent their company? No one, that's who.

     Currently? My stomach is churning.  The only relief I had from being sick was when the boyfriend called. He is so sweet and amazing.. With how sick I was, he called me and talked much more than usual.  He even told his own best friend to be quiet so he could talk to me and he kept his attention on me the entire time.  I love him to death. <3

So, girlies, time for the quessttiioonnn...

Question: What is your best method for staying strong when you know you should be eating, and you aren't?

My Answer: Touching all of the fat hanging off my body. If being sick makes you lose weight, then I won't eat and I'll lose even more.

Oh, and if you guys have any questions you would like to ask meee :3 Just send them in the comments. I'll reply to them in posts and say your name and everything. Thank you!!

F.e.e.l.i.n.g..P.r.e.t.t.y..G.o.o.d

So, it's been a while. Sorry I haven't been posting, but my family has started noticing a few changes.  They think I'm depressed. Nope, just not hungry.

     On to less depressing news, I've begun to LOVE the feeling of an empty stomach.  It feels so odd to eat now. Although today, I did very badly and I'm not proud.  I ate two bagels, seven deep-fried oreos, a bowl of very fatty soup, and a caesar salad.  Not. Good.  I'm going to fast for the next two days and hopefully get my act together.  My best friend and I went on a ride at a local amusement park, and she couldn't fit on a ride with me.  She was so embarrassed, and she's bigger than I am, so I still fit, but I hope to never get to that size.  I'm going to talk my mom into going on walks every night, as a "family fitness" kind of thing.  She always gets into these highs where she wants to be healthy and such.
     Now, of course, she gave up.  But I still work hard to maintain or lose weight.  I really need to get a scale, or get batteries for our scale.
     So, time for the question of the day!

Question: What is your favorite exercise to do in private?

My Answer: Crunches.  I always stretch with my younger sisters, but I do hundreds of crunches in my room.

And please tell me of any good pro-ana blogs I should follow :3 thank you, lovelies!