I Want To Die

I'm never going to be skinny. I'm not. And Eric is never going to live with me. I have to accept that.

I have no job. I'm fucking huge and disgusting. Everyone I've ever met wishes they could forget me.

My stepdad showed me where we hide the gun at. Now I know where to find it.

And I just found out where I have to shoot to kill myself instantly. I can't wait to try it.

Toodles.

I feel usless..

Yeah, I'm back guys and girls. I got a big mirror put up in my room, looked at myself, and purged. I recently found out one of my friends is a cutter and also has an eating disorder, but she's against it and trying to get fixed. I'm not.
I want to lose weight. I've stopped eating. I've been exercising.

Oh, and I haven't been here in so long, I have good news.
My parents gave the OK and said my boyfriend can move in.
Here's the thing: We're going to be moving soon too. From Indiana to Tennessee.

I'm so terrified. I hate moving. I'm too fat. I'll take up too much space. I'll never make new friends.

I'm in tears just telling you guys about it.

Well, anyways, I'm going to take pictures of myself semi-naked tomorrow and post them. You guys deserve to see me once, at least. And someday, we can look back and see the changes and such.

Any and all comments are welcome. Thank you.