I don't have an eating disorder. I don't. I'm just a fat, stupid wanna be. I ask for fucking tips and tricks and shit. If I really had a problem, I'd know how the fuck to lose weight. I'm so god damned stupid and alone.
My friend that, now, I'm trying to recover with, had written a long note about how I'm a horrible friend and how I stopped being her friend once she got pregnant. UUHHH WHAT THE FUCK?!
I've only been there SINCE SHE FOUND OUT SHE WAS PREGNANT! The fuck is her problem?!
But then I stop and think about it..
I'm just stupid. I'm a horrible friend. I'm mean, rude, I judge, I get jealous, I get possessive. Nobody wants to fucking be around me anymore. EVERYONE is DYING to see how my life is going, but nobody wants to be a PART of my life.. everyone hates me. I don't blame a single one of them. I don't trust anybody anymore. I can't. What good does it do? I trust people, they hate the kind of person I am, and they leave. Nobody can stand to be around me. Why should that? I'm a horrible, deadly person.
Oh, speaking of which, when my boyfriend broke up with me, I was going to die two days ago. Thought you guys should know.
Anyways, another rant. These will be here for a few posts now, I'm sure.. I'm just not happy about.. anything, lately..
Well no, I made a new friend. He's really nice, calls me "love" and "sweetie" and likes to rp. He's a great guy. Very good friend.
Fin.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Thanks For All Of The Rants
First, I want to reply to the comments, haha
Fat Piggy: Lol yes she a fucking bitch, and now we're trying to work things out. Sad, right? She got pissed that her stupid new twin is being a bitch about us getting along again. She HAS to fucking realize that that bitch hates me. Grah.. Thanks though.
Louise: Lol consider yourself lucky, then. I've had shitty days for weeks on end recently. Not to mention my bf wanting to be in an open relationship... grah....
Tiny Rose: Damn, that does sound shitty.. Some guys are like that, though, not gonna lie. I've been a lucky one. My boyfriend is very supportive but doesn't like that I... well, I don't want to say I have an ED
Interjection time
I honestly don't believe I have an eating disorder. I know there's a picture out there that says "I'm too fat to have an eating disorder", but for me it pretty much does apply. I don't eat right, and I know I don't. I stop eating for days then scarf down anything edible I can find. I'm disgusting. And I feel worse saying I don't have an ED and all of you guys do, so I seem like a stupid wanna be. Some days that makes me want to delete my blog, because who the fuck am I, a wanna be, to be posting about "oh im so fat I'm going to starve ANA LOVE FOREVER STAY STRONG STARVE ON"
No. It's wrong of me to do that.
Great, now I'm seriously considering deleting this blog.
Fin.
Fat Piggy: Lol yes she a fucking bitch, and now we're trying to work things out. Sad, right? She got pissed that her stupid new twin is being a bitch about us getting along again. She HAS to fucking realize that that bitch hates me. Grah.. Thanks though.
Louise: Lol consider yourself lucky, then. I've had shitty days for weeks on end recently. Not to mention my bf wanting to be in an open relationship... grah....
Tiny Rose: Damn, that does sound shitty.. Some guys are like that, though, not gonna lie. I've been a lucky one. My boyfriend is very supportive but doesn't like that I... well, I don't want to say I have an ED
Interjection time
I honestly don't believe I have an eating disorder. I know there's a picture out there that says "I'm too fat to have an eating disorder", but for me it pretty much does apply. I don't eat right, and I know I don't. I stop eating for days then scarf down anything edible I can find. I'm disgusting. And I feel worse saying I don't have an ED and all of you guys do, so I seem like a stupid wanna be. Some days that makes me want to delete my blog, because who the fuck am I, a wanna be, to be posting about "oh im so fat I'm going to starve ANA LOVE FOREVER STAY STRONG STARVE ON"
No. It's wrong of me to do that.
Great, now I'm seriously considering deleting this blog.
Fin.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Very pissed off, so today gets a second post
So that girl's bitchy friend is pissing me off. She messages me on another site and tells me not to look at her myyearbook page and not to view her page and all this other shit. Then DDURRRR she goes to my page and views a bunch of shit r.r
Little does the bitch know that I'm meeting up with her baby daddy this weekend. OH SHIT. I wasn't supposed to say that :3 whoops.
Nah, calm down, I'm committed to my boyfriend. I'm just good friends with this guy and we got along MUCH better with the bitch friend getting in the way. So he's coming and staying the night. He's so nice too, we're texting right now ;D hahaha
So girls, want to comment and give me some bitch outs? ANYONE or ANYTHING that is pissing you off, go ahead and rant about it D:<
Little does the bitch know that I'm meeting up with her baby daddy this weekend. OH SHIT. I wasn't supposed to say that :3 whoops.
Nah, calm down, I'm committed to my boyfriend. I'm just good friends with this guy and we got along MUCH better with the bitch friend getting in the way. So he's coming and staying the night. He's so nice too, we're texting right now ;D hahaha
So girls, want to comment and give me some bitch outs? ANYONE or ANYTHING that is pissing you off, go ahead and rant about it D:<
Sick as hell
Giving up Pepsi for Lent. I'm sick. Throwing up, sniffling, grumbling.
We got a new cat named CJ. My uncle had passed away and his cat keeps trying to go to my aunt's house, where her dogs will kill him, so we took him in. He's so cute, he's like pale orange.
Oh, this bitch girl that used to be my friend keeps acting all stupid. I wrote a letter to her on Facebook, saying how boy crazy she is. And she's like "I wish I was as boy crazy and people say I am". Uhh.. she's been with 12, actually more but I'm kind, guys since I met her four years ago.
Four years, 12+ guys.
Did I mention she's a teen mom, had the dad move in with her, and she cheated on him?
Oh, and I think she follows this blog. LOL!
I'm getting my book back from her today, then I'm blocking her on Facebook and out of my life. She's nothing but a whore and she pisses me off to no end.
Worst part? I feel bad for not feeling bad about losing her.
Question of the day.
Question: What do you do to get over losing a friend that you KNOW treated you wrong but you know you'll miss anyways.
Answer: Lay in bed under my heating blanket and cry. Always makes me feel better. I've been doing it for a few weeks now, not that she knows or cares. She has her wanna-be vampire TWINNY TWIN TWIN BIFFIES FUH EVAH to be there for her now. Oh, until she steals her boyfriend. Whoops ;)
We got a new cat named CJ. My uncle had passed away and his cat keeps trying to go to my aunt's house, where her dogs will kill him, so we took him in. He's so cute, he's like pale orange.
Oh, this bitch girl that used to be my friend keeps acting all stupid. I wrote a letter to her on Facebook, saying how boy crazy she is. And she's like "I wish I was as boy crazy and people say I am". Uhh.. she's been with 12, actually more but I'm kind, guys since I met her four years ago.
Four years, 12+ guys.
Did I mention she's a teen mom, had the dad move in with her, and she cheated on him?
Oh, and I think she follows this blog. LOL!
I'm getting my book back from her today, then I'm blocking her on Facebook and out of my life. She's nothing but a whore and she pisses me off to no end.
Worst part? I feel bad for not feeling bad about losing her.
Question of the day.
Question: What do you do to get over losing a friend that you KNOW treated you wrong but you know you'll miss anyways.
Answer: Lay in bed under my heating blanket and cry. Always makes me feel better. I've been doing it for a few weeks now, not that she knows or cares. She has her wanna-be vampire TWINNY TWIN TWIN BIFFIES FUH EVAH to be there for her now. Oh, until she steals her boyfriend. Whoops ;)
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Agh I Forgot About Lent!!!
First off, thanks for all fo the comments, guys <3 I take them all to heart. Gonna clean up my room tomorrow so I have more room to exercise. Agh. And, with Lent, I have decided what to do!
1. No soda. One can on Sundays, if I can't help it.
2. I must exercise every day or night.
3. I must be up by 9:30 am EVERY DAY! NO EXCEPTIONS!!!
4. No second helpings, and only one meal a day (I've already eaten today, so no more until 9:30 am tomorrow or later.)
5. I must practice Japanese in one way or another every single day, STARTING today! (I have My Japanese Coach for DS, so that'll help <3)
6. I absolutely, positively cannot have a dirty room. No Neopets, xat, webcam, texting, NOTHING until my room is clean. (Except today. Today is the exception because tomorrow is when I'm going to clean my room.)
And I'm going to make a list of things I have to start doing permanently while I'm at school. One of them is going to be being indifferent towards certain people. I have a lot of friends that aren't very responsive to me anymore, so I'm actually doing an experiment right now and not texting those certain people until they start to worry. I know, I'm sadistic XD bahaha.
Ehh Guess I can do a question of the day. Some people may hate it.
Question: Do you play Neopets? What is your account name? Also, if you don't play neopets anymore, can I have your account?
My answer: If you want to neofriend me ;D I'm CryotaNeko on Neopets. I also have side accounts of CryotaDarkDepression and CryotaCaring AND some accounts that are remakes for me and my friend that are her accounts, _Paige4893_, _Aubree102_,
Ugh r.r Stepdad is yelling about how many windows I have open. I'm getting offline.
1. No soda. One can on Sundays,
2. I must exercise every day or night.
3. I must be up by 9:30 am EVERY DAY! NO EXCEPTIONS!!!
4. No second helpings, and only one meal a day (I've already eaten today, so no more until 9:30 am tomorrow or later.)
5. I must practice Japanese in one way or another every single day, STARTING today! (I have My Japanese Coach for DS, so that'll help <3)
6. I absolutely, positively cannot have a dirty room. No Neopets, xat, webcam, texting, NOTHING until my room is clean. (Except today. Today is the exception because tomorrow is when I'm going to clean my room.)
And I'm going to make a list of things I have to start doing permanently while I'm at school. One of them is going to be being indifferent towards certain people. I have a lot of friends that aren't very responsive to me anymore, so I'm actually doing an experiment right now and not texting those certain people until they start to worry. I know, I'm sadistic XD bahaha.
Ehh Guess I can do a question of the day. Some people may hate it.
Question: Do you play Neopets? What is your account name? Also, if you don't play neopets anymore, can I have your account?
My answer: If you want to neofriend me ;D I'm CryotaNeko on Neopets. I also have side accounts of CryotaDarkDepression and CryotaCaring AND some accounts that are remakes for me and my friend that are her accounts, _Paige4893_, _Aubree102_,
Ugh r.r Stepdad is yelling about how many windows I have open. I'm getting offline.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Finally Weighed Myself..
Yes, for the first time in FOREVER I got to check my weight. Ready to hear the lovely news..?
I've lost about 3 pounds in three months.
I'm disgusted, literally. I didn't eat all day. I barely drank water. I'm not going to eat until I'm passing out in the middle of the day. I can't stand this fat.
I started doing hundreds of sit ups in my room, alone, and I'm never going to look at a scale again. I'm going to use measurements from now on. I feel so sick of myself. I hate it. Ugh. PLEASE. SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE ME SKINNY.
I HATE ALL OF THIS FUCKING FAT. I HATE WEARING DOUBLE DIGITS SIZES. I HATE EATING FOOD. I HATE GETTING FATTER AND FATTER AND ALL OF THIS OTHER SHIT. I WANT TO BE SKINNY.
Fin. xoxo
I've lost about 3 pounds in three months.
I'm disgusted, literally. I didn't eat all day. I barely drank water. I'm not going to eat until I'm passing out in the middle of the day. I can't stand this fat.
I started doing hundreds of sit ups in my room, alone, and I'm never going to look at a scale again. I'm going to use measurements from now on. I feel so sick of myself. I hate it. Ugh. PLEASE. SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE ME SKINNY.
I HATE ALL OF THIS FUCKING FAT. I HATE WEARING DOUBLE DIGITS SIZES. I HATE EATING FOOD. I HATE GETTING FATTER AND FATTER AND ALL OF THIS OTHER SHIT. I WANT TO BE SKINNY.
Fin. xoxo
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Valentine's Day!!!!
Everyone is posting about Valentine's Day, I see. I WANNA DO IT TOO!!!
Sooo I'm working on a TON of edits and I feel ssooo happy ^w^ I'm thinking about doing a group edit. If you want to be involved in it you HAVE to email me, at Paige48932@yahoo.com, by THIS SUNDAY!!!!! If you don't, you miss out :3 just email me and I'll tell you the details I'll need by Sunday night.
Thank you for the wonderful comments too! I'm going to try more Russian Twists. I did those wayyy before I got this serious about it so now I think I can do them more.
Now.. a few of my Tiny Tips I came up with ;D
1. Sit up straight. Always remind yourself to do it.
2. Move. Tap, wiggle, shift, fidget, do everything. It burns loads of calories!
3. DRINK WATER! I cannot stress this enough. Drinking cold water is PERFECT for losing weight!!!
4. I don't trust a scale, personally. I use a tape measure, $2 at Walmart. It doesn't get affected by water weight and shit.
5. Exercise! Do crunches or push ups in bed. I've started doing exercises every single night before I'm allowed to go to sleep.
No Question of the Day. Disaster (my friend xD) is calling me! Ciao ladies! Please Stay Strong and Lovely <3 Happy Valentine's Day to you all!!!
Sooo I'm working on a TON of edits and I feel ssooo happy ^w^ I'm thinking about doing a group edit. If you want to be involved in it you HAVE to email me, at Paige48932@yahoo.com, by THIS SUNDAY!!!!! If you don't, you miss out :3 just email me and I'll tell you the details I'll need by Sunday night.
Thank you for the wonderful comments too! I'm going to try more Russian Twists. I did those wayyy before I got this serious about it so now I think I can do them more.
Now.. a few of my Tiny Tips I came up with ;D
1. Sit up straight. Always remind yourself to do it.
2. Move. Tap, wiggle, shift, fidget, do everything. It burns loads of calories!
3. DRINK WATER! I cannot stress this enough. Drinking cold water is PERFECT for losing weight!!!
4. I don't trust a scale, personally. I use a tape measure, $2 at Walmart. It doesn't get affected by water weight and shit.
5. Exercise! Do crunches or push ups in bed. I've started doing exercises every single night before I'm allowed to go to sleep.
No Question of the Day. Disaster (my friend xD) is calling me! Ciao ladies! Please Stay Strong and Lovely <3 Happy Valentine's Day to you all!!!
Sunday, February 12, 2012
I am such a horrible person...
I'm sorry I don't comment.
I'm sorry I don't answer emails.
I'm sorry I don't answer back your comments.
I'm sorry I don't thank you all enough.
I'm sorry I can't lose weight faster.
I'm sorry I'm not a single digit size.
I'm sorry I'm so fat.
I'm sorry I'm so annoying.
I'm sorry that I'm so worthless.
I'm learning to say I'm sorry. I'm a horrible person. I'm going to apologize each post from now on.
Oh, and the boyfriend and I are back together <3 I'm so happy and at peace.. He's sending me a Valentine's Gift too..
I starting to learn to edit pictures with Gimp. I'm not too good. I'll post some pictures next time. I'm working on a specific edit for someone that follows my blog. (Thank you person.) Haha.
So. Please comment, text, etc. I'm also making a fake Facebook for my ED purposes. Soo. anyone who wants to join me? Yeah. The Facebook thing didn't work well.
Question: What's your best exercise to get rid of inches around your stomach?
My Answer: I really don't have one, that's why I'm asking Dx I need to lose some stomach inches. Blech. I hate my stomach.
And I forgot before. Fragile Heart asked me if I ever did anything I seriously regretted.
Yes, I have. It's kind of stupid and mushy, but when I first got to meet with my boyfriend, we didn't talk the entire first day. Didn't sit by each other. Didn't hold hands. Nothing. I regret it. So much wasted time. I thought six days would last forever, and now it's been a year and a half since then. I'm always depressed about it. I wish I would have hugged and kissed him v////v I love him so much...
xoxo Please text me, anyone.
I'm sorry I don't answer emails.
I'm sorry I don't answer back your comments.
I'm sorry I don't thank you all enough.
I'm sorry I can't lose weight faster.
I'm sorry I'm not a single digit size.
I'm sorry I'm so fat.
I'm sorry I'm so annoying.
I'm sorry that I'm so worthless.
I'm learning to say I'm sorry. I'm a horrible person. I'm going to apologize each post from now on.
Oh, and the boyfriend and I are back together <3 I'm so happy and at peace.. He's sending me a Valentine's Gift too..
I starting to learn to edit pictures with Gimp. I'm not too good. I'll post some pictures next time. I'm working on a specific edit for someone that follows my blog. (Thank you person.) Haha.
So. Please comment, text, etc. I'm also making a fake Facebook for my ED purposes. Soo. anyone who wants to join me? Yeah. The Facebook thing didn't work well.
Question: What's your best exercise to get rid of inches around your stomach?
My Answer: I really don't have one, that's why I'm asking Dx I need to lose some stomach inches. Blech. I hate my stomach.
And I forgot before. Fragile Heart asked me if I ever did anything I seriously regretted.
Yes, I have. It's kind of stupid and mushy, but when I first got to meet with my boyfriend, we didn't talk the entire first day. Didn't sit by each other. Didn't hold hands. Nothing. I regret it. So much wasted time. I thought six days would last forever, and now it's been a year and a half since then. I'm always depressed about it. I wish I would have hugged and kissed him v////v I love him so much...
xoxo Please text me, anyone.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Bad News
So... My boyfriend and I broke up. He found another girl and asked her out and she said yes. I'm not really.. Feeling, anymore. I already sobbed with my best friend and my mom. I'm stressed out. I'm so scared. There's too much going on. Please text me. Anyone. 1-219-776-9228
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