Update: No One Is Reading This

it's hard now to imagine a life without Ana.  she will always be there and tell me what i should and shouldn't eat.  it surprises me how quickly she has come to accept me in her heart.  she is the only person that is always there for me and always takes care of me.  she tells me how hard to cut.  she tells me how much to eat.  she tells me if i am worthy of eating for the day, and usually, i am not.  i am a huge, fatass and i know that she knows that.  i hate to bathe now.  i hate feeling my body when i get dressed.  i can't see bones.  only fat.  i want to see my bones, because they are the only pure, beautiful thing about me.  i have bones, just like everyone else.  i want to be beautiful.

     ana has worked hard on me.  i walk daily.  i exercise daily.  i eat.. weekly.  i take diet pills.  i do all of this, and still my efforts are in vain, because i dont even know how much i weigh anymore, because our scale is broken.  i hope to find out soon, though.  we shall see how that goes, i guess.  i hope to have other ana girls follow this blog and help me to get into their heads and into their lifestyle.  i adore ana and all she has done for me.

     if you are not pro ana, then do not comment on this blog.  if you do not accept my lifestyle, then why are you here? merely to insult me? i am going to be healthy and beautiful, and only ana can truly understand how i feel.  i won't let others in anymore. only the select, few, chosen people shall know about this side of my life.

     anyways, time for the update.

     i am getting used to the growling of my stomach, and it makes me proud.  it makes me proud that i have such self control that i dont have to eat when i am clearly not hungry.  i do not like food.  i do not need food.  food is for the weak.  the best part about having a friend or a family member that eats food is that it makes you feel strong and proud of yourself.  i am always proud of myself when i don't eat while others are around me.  i am strong like that, now.  i do try to eat, just to keep my metabolism going, but i see results even when i don't eat.  it's just because i'm fat, i'm sure, but it still makes a difference to me.

     anyways, that's all i have for now.  StayStrongThinkBeautifulBePerfect!