Well, I'm 19 now.

It's hard to know that I've been overweight for 19 years now.. It's really just sad.

Here I sit in my room every day, cleaning and texting and playing Neopets and such, but no one wants to talk to me, care about me.  Even Disaster abandoned me recently.  He hates me.  Not that I blame him.  Why should I? I'm a horrible, sick, sadistic bitch.  I'm glad he left while he could.  I wasn't worth his time and effort anyways.

I don't want to ramble about him right now.  I'm tired of thinking of him.

In other news, I recently made a new friend.  His name is Josh, he's a little younger than me, but he's six foot one and funny and has a really deep voice.  He's so nice and polite, and we haven't even met face to face yet.  We're making plans for when he comes back home from oklahoma, we're gonna go to the movies and hang out and such.

Oh, speaking of face to face, I go to my boyfriend's house May 12th or so.  I'm hoping my mom buys my plane ticket soon.  There's barely a month left now.  I'm so anxious to see him.

I know, I haven't posted anything about eating yet, but I will now.  I'm sick of being fat and losing my friends.  I want to lose this damn weight.  I'm going to go back to normal, eating only one meal a day, REALLY considering what I'm eating.  I even made a friend in college now.  I don't want him to see me eating everything like a damn fatass.  I was doing so good before. I don't know what happened.  Every day now, it's going to be less eating and more exercise, which includes riding my bike. Ugh.  I might save that for when I'm at least a little smaller.  Me on a bike is the same as a damn elephant riding one.  Yeah, I'm fucking huge.

Time for the Question.

Question: What's a good form of exercise for a big girl to do without being embarrassed?

My Answer: Walking outside.  Walking on the treadmill really makes me feel sick, it really does.  I hate when people walk past and see me on the damn thing.  It makes me feel enormous, too big to change.  That's how I always feel.

xoxo
Cry