I've been working hard with ana, hoping to drop some weight and some size. I've been carefully walking on the treadmill every day, doing my own exercises in my room at night to help. Then, I've been eating very little. Of course, our scale is still broken, so I haven't been able to check how much I weigh, and I lost my tape measure, so honestly, I'm in a state of oblivion right now.
Someone should help me find good scene thinspiration too D: I've been very into scenespo, as it's called, lately. I want to be really thin and pretty some day, and right now my goal is a pair of blue lace jeans in my room that haven't fit be since my freshman year of high school. Please help to inspire me! :c
My sisters have even been calling me fat now lately. It's really depressing, but one of my best friends, the only one that knows about my habits, has been saying that I'm losing weight. My rings, normally a size 13 (Sad. I know. I'm such a fat ass), haven't been fitting well lately. They've been too big, but whatever.
I really want to lose weight. I really don't want to be fat. I'm sick of being this fucking huge. I'm sick of being the fat person in the group. I really am.
Oh, and I'm goin to cut my hair into a scene style and due it black and red. xD I've been pondering this for a long time, and I've decided to do so. Once I reach my ultimate goal weight and size, I'm gonna dye my hair a rich, deep blue! I've always wanted to dye my hair blue, but i think I'm going to save it for until I'm the perfect size.
So, please comment, if you still read my blog :( I'm going to go through your blogs right now. Thank you!
You can do it! Maybe you can try the Spring Break Challenge with me. ( You can modify it if you want. I don't care) :p Whatever you do I'll be there for you! And I wish I had a scale. Mom won't let me so I can only use tape measure...oh well.
ReplyDeleteAll my support,
<3 A Fragile Heart
Family can say the things that hurt the deepest turn it into motivation to get skinnier then them so you can call them fatty's. Spite can be useful if you use it to motivate you. xoxo
ReplyDeleteSorry you are feeling bad at the moment. I want you to know I do read your blog...I may not always post but I do read it.
ReplyDeleteJust found your blog, I will be reading !
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad to see you're posting again!
ReplyDeleteAnd word of advice...be careful with the blue dye. It tends to not take as well to hair (personal experience).
Oh god I know how those mean family comments hurt. My mom and dad are barbie and ken. I've always had beautiful parents and not living up to what they are is the most uncomfortable thing (that and being the 'bigger' friend of the group)
you're not alone dear. All of us reading are right there with you :)