Bad News

So... My boyfriend and I broke up. He found another girl and asked her out and she said yes. I'm not really.. Feeling, anymore. I already sobbed with my best friend and my mom. I'm stressed out. I'm so scared. There's too much going on. Please text me. Anyone. 1-219-776-9228

Time to Update / I really suck...

I'm not very good at.. Eh.. Fasting. I try so hard. Can someone please give me good advice? Starting tomorrow, I'm gonna start a liquid fast. I've heard it's easier to go from eating, to liquid eating, to fasting. I'm going to exercise a lot too. I need to exercise. NO. I NEED TO CLEAN MY DAMN ROOM.
Oh, and good and bad news. My laptop processor is fried :/ So I'm shot. GOOD NEWS THOUGH! My stepdad says he can put my laptop harddrive in my old PC, so you guys will be treated, soon, to the amazing thoughts that were in my mind a year ago. I wonder what I was like? But please, also, I have a new thing for our QUESTION OF THE DAY!!!

Question: What do you want to ask me, no strings attached? It can be anything about me, ABSOLUTELY anything, and I will answer honestly.

My Answer: Eh. None. xD

NEWS ISH!!!!

First of all, i walked 10,000 steps yesterday night!!! And Kk has been the most amazing person I have ever met.

So, i need a laptop. Haha...

Im so sorry. Im bored right now. Im going to play my sims kingdom. Good bye!

What I've Been Up To / I'll Be Updating More Often Now

I've been working hard with ana, hoping to drop some weight and some size. I've been carefully walking on the treadmill every day, doing my own exercises in my room at night to help. Then, I've been eating very little. Of course, our scale is still broken, so I haven't been able to check how much I weigh, and I lost my tape measure, so honestly, I'm in a state of oblivion right now.

Someone should help me find good scene thinspiration too D: I've been very into scenespo, as it's called, lately. I want to be really thin and pretty some day, and right now my goal is a pair of blue lace jeans in my room that haven't fit be since my freshman year of high school. Please help to inspire me! :c

My sisters have even been calling me fat now lately. It's really depressing, but one of my best friends, the only one that knows about my habits, has been saying that I'm losing weight. My rings, normally a size 13 (Sad. I know. I'm such a fat ass), haven't been fitting well lately. They've been too big, but whatever.

I really want to lose weight. I really don't want to be fat. I'm sick of being this fucking huge. I'm sick of being the fat person in the group. I really am.

Oh, and I'm goin to cut my hair into a scene style and due it black and red. xD I've been pondering this for a long time, and I've decided to do so. Once I reach my ultimate goal weight and size, I'm gonna dye my hair a rich, deep blue! I've always wanted to dye my hair blue, but i think I'm going to save it for until I'm the perfect size.

So, please comment, if you still read my blog :( I'm going to go through your blogs right now. Thank you!

My Excuse For The Long Wait

So, I've got a new Android tablet. And I apologize, my dear sisters. I haven't had a stable acess to the internet for ages. I swear to be more productive this year, 2012, and work hard on fasting and exercising and everything! So, to start off, who wants to join me in a fast? I've been lonely without being able to speak to all of you. Please.. someone text me...? 12197769228

Now.. I've updated my goals. I want to get down to at least a size 8. I miss you all. Please help.....

Almost 30 Posts? Impossible / A Word To Those Who Cared

     First off, I'm going to save my 30th post for next week. That much is for sure. I am NOT going to waste such a grand event!

     Now, onto the more important business...

     I want to apologize to all of those who read and/or commented on my last post.. I'm in a really bad place right now.  Our electric got shut off due to a $1400 bill deficit.  We can't get it figured out until the 15th.  And I'm going to Keven's on the 19th. So we're pretty much screwed.
     But for now, I want to send special, personalized thank you's to everyone who commented.

Jayne: Thank you for your very inspiring words.  I thought of every I had to live for.. Little things I would miss. Holding my boyfriend's hand.. Petting my cat Cookie, and talking to her.. Hearing my little sisters say they love me.. Laughing with my best friend, Laeti.. And most of all..? I really would miss reading all of your blogs.  I'm a coward for giving in to temptation and planning my own death, when I have so much to live for.  I start college on Monday.  I might even be moving in with Keven this summer. Exciting, isn't it? Thank you very much darling. Stay strong, love on.

Skinny Ninny: I commented on your blog, but again, I want to thank you for believing in me and also wanting me to live.  It means the world to me that you, will all of your followers, would care about a stupid fat girl whining on a blog. Thank you.

KK: Thank you dear. I would miss you and your blog as well.  I try to read and comment every second I get.

Louise: I miss texting you more often.  Once you read this, text me, would you? I promise, I'll open up to you more often.  I love having your support. Thank you so much.

kes: As a new follower to my blog, YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CREDIT TO SPE- jk, I'm not a gigatic douche. XD Thank you very much for your touching and horrifying story.  If you ever need to, please, speak to me.  Email, text, anything.  I'm always here to help out.

Tiny Rose: Darling, I want you to listen to me, and I want you to understand what I'm going to say next.  I saved you for last, not because you are insignificant to me.  Not because I care the least about you.  After what you just told me, you are now my number one priority.  I will always check your blog, comment, and be there for you.  I don't want you to give up all you've worked for and all you love.  Think about the little things, like Jayne told me.  Wouldn't you miss the smells of your favorite foods, even if you don't eat them..? Or miss the sounds and tunes of the best music? Or what about going on here, and reading my blog.  If I had given up and not been typing this, how would that have affected you? You wouldn't be reading this, and I want you to stay with me, to stay with all of us.  If you ever, EVER need me, you know where to find me, and how to contact me.  Feel free to email me, text me (from phone or from yahoo, I get free everything), or even send me message on Facebook, as you are the only one who added me!  See how dear you are to me? I want you to always be there for me, and I'll always support you.  But I can't lose you, TR, I can't.  And I'll do everything in my power to prevent it.  Stay strong, love.  I'm here for you, and I'm in tears now even, just hoping that I'll get through to you.

     Now that I'm all cleaned up (thank you, Cookie, for bringing me a tissue o.<) I would like to announce that whoever answers the Question Of The Day get added into a picture montage of as many people I can draw!  You guys get to see my LOVELY drawings now! Haha, what a joke.  And the question just so happens to pertain with the drawing...

Question Of The Day: If you made up how you would look, size NOT included, what would you look like?

My Answer: I would have black cat ears and a black cat tail, hands down.  I would have green eyes, bright white teeth, the perfect shade of blue hair in beautful loose curls.  And I'd always wear a collar. A big, huge, chunky collar, for le decoration.  I would wear any clothes I wanted, like skinny jeans and huge shirts that fall off my shoulder and show my bra strap. X//3.. and most of all, I would be at Keven's side.

Please, everyone, give me your descriptions :3 I'll give you until at LEAST Tuesday to come up with them, maybe longer, (depending on the electricity situation).  PLEASE comment and give me your descrriippttiionnss! I want to draw ALL OF YOU D:< Stay strong, love on.

Oh oh, and, as a bonus, I need good catch phrases to put in the picture. File it under "Fuck Me, My Brain In Uncreative". xD Latteerrr.

I'm Going To Kill Myself

     I've decided to kill myself on December 31, 2011. If not, then 2012.  Disaster is no longer a friend of mine.  I want only my ED friends to ever call me Kitty.  I am going to kill myself with sleeping pills. Dozens of them until I don't wake up.  Please do give me any advice that may be helpful with suicide.  Thank you.